January 17, 2013

Satirical News Article Solves U.S. Gun Violence Problem

FAIRFAX, VA – The contentious issue of gun control in the U.S. appears to have been fully resolved today, following the on-line publication of a satirical news article which instantly united advocates on both sides of the issue with its brilliant wit and insight.

The satirical news article, which combined the irreverent humor of The Onion with the sharp comedic incisiveness of The Daily Show and The Colbert Report, had gun rights defenders and gun control advocates nodding their heads in laughter and agreement.

“Honestly, I had never thought about the issue that way before,” a spokesperson for the National Rifle Association commented during a hastily called press conference at the NRA’s headquarters immediately after the article’s publication. “The reason that article is so funny is because it’s so true!”

“Its clever subhead was especially on target,” the NRA spokesman noted, before smiling and adding, “No pun intended.”

On the other side of the issue, representatives of the Brady Campaign to Prevent Gun Violence were busy mass mailing a link to the satirical news article to their supporters with a note saying, “It’s hard to believe that a problem so complex and so tragic as gun violence could be totally solved in just six ingeniously simple and witty paragraphs.”

“Also, the photo accompanying the article was hilarious,” the Brady Campaign added.

Democratic and Republican leaders in the House and Senate issued a joint statement saying they expected the satirical news article would serve as the basis for comprehensive legislation that would eradicate gun violence in the U.S. before year’s end.

Meanwhile, the website responsible for the satirical news article announced that it is now at work on its next story, which it hopes will “tickle readers’ funny bones” while simultaneously resolving the interconnected issues of income inequality, high unemployment, rising Medicare costs and the national debt.


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